Before I had met Aaron I had never minded being alone, but now that he had gone it simply felt wrong. Sure, I still had my little girls, but they were too young to be any help, when I felt the weight of my task on my shoulders.
During those long lonesome nights I wondered, what would happen if I failed. Would the Order prevail without me? The thought that someday there would be no Grey Wardens in Thedas was very alien and scary to me, so each night I vowed that I would prevail.
There were days when everything was going good and I believed that I could do it, but they were few and far between. Most of the time everything was simply too much.
The sink breaking once again was the last straw for me.
In my desperation I decided to send a letter to Andre. I didn’t have much hope that anything would come of it, but I needed to voice my plight to someone.
Knowing what I expected one can probably understand my surprise when Andre suddenly showed up at my home. He was there so quickly, he must have ridden hard all the way from Orlais right after the letter got to him. I was not only surprised but also a little touched.
And he had not just come to see me, no, he fully intended to stay and care for me during my pregnancy. It was so much easier than when I had been carrying the girls, since Andre did all the housework, while all I had to do was rest. Aaron had never taken care of me like this.
I did feel a little guilt though, knowing that Andre had left his wife and son in Orlais, just to be with me.
But I am not selfless enough for that guilt to last. Whenever I am close to him all I can feel is our love and a happiness so much greater than ever before. With him at my side my task suddenly seems almost easy to accomplish.
I must also not neglect to mention that Andre not only takes care of me, but also treats the girls as if they were his own. I can not count the number of times he has gotten up in the middle of the night, because either of them were in need of food, fresh diapers or just a little attention.
It was one of the quieter evenings, when Andre had another surprise for me in store. He asked me to become his wife, so the child I was carrying wouldn’t be an extramarital one. Unfortunately he was a little late with his thought and before we found the time to exchange our vows I was already in labour.
That we didn’t manage to get married was actually fitting, since we named our baby boy Alistair. Like his namesake he is factually a bastard child, since he was conceived while both Andre and I were married to someone else. Maybe one day my son will be a Grey Warden like the one he was named after. But till then it’s still a long way ahead of us.
During my pregnancy the time seemed to move really quick. I feel like my girls have been born just a couple of days ago, but in the meantime they have aged into really cute little toddlers.
They are almost identical twins, the only thing differentiating them from each other being their eye color. While Arianni shares my dark green eyes Athenril has grey ones, which is actually curious since her father’s eyes weren’t grey either. But who knows, the Maker sometimes works in mysterious ways.
Now that the girls were older and able to amuse themselves for a little while Andre and I finally found the time to get married. We thought about going to the chantry, but decided against it. The whole town knows that I have been married to one of the locals before, so they might have taken offence seeing me marrying someone from Orlais.
Athenril is very attentive. Whenever I sit down to write in my journal she always follows me. She has only learned to speak a short while ago, but she still tries to ask what I’m doing. I always do my best to explain our family duty to her, but I think she might just be a little too young to understand.
How smart or should I rather say wily she is also shows in playing peek-a-boo with her sister. While Arianni really closes her eyes every time, I can’t even count how often I have seen Athenril peek through her fingers.
Andre is always either cooking in the kitchen or cleaning it, so lately I have gained a little weight. It’s not a problem though. There always might be a new task for the Wardens. And wandering through the Deep Roads for a few days or even weeks makes one lose weight faster than anything else.
I realized how wrong I was to accuse Andre’s cooking when our sink broke again.
Even knowing that there would soon be another mouth to feed life went on as usual.
Athenril spends a lot of time playing with the doll house. I maybe shouldn’t have told her about her namesake because lately she keeps babbling about secret operations and asks her puppets for the money they owe her. She is still young though, so I don’t think we need to worry about her turning to a life of crime.
Arianni doesn’t have quite as much time to play as her sister. I don’t think she is any less smart, but she simply took a little longer to learn things like walking and talking.
Not only the girls grew and learned continuously, their brother Alistair did too. The only thing he still needs to grow out of is the nasty habit of picking his nose.
Look wise it seems that my genes are very strong, because he is my likeness up to the tip of his ears.
With time moving on and on it was soon time for my fourth child to be born. Another little girl whom we named Aveline after the famous chevalier and the guard captain of Kirkwall. I hope that she will be as duty-bound and reliable as her namesake, because then she would truly make a great Warden and I wouldn’t need to worry about my Order’s future…not that I do, because I believe that any of my children would be perfect for continuing our line of tainted blood.
The night after Aveline was born Andre and me managed to spend some time together. I hope to soon be with child again, because having 3 girls already both my husband and I wish for another son to even the odds a little.
No matter what our next child will be, I am absolutely certain that Andre will take good care of it. Caring for the kids, cooking and especially cleaning are his favorite pastimes. In the morning I barely manage to get out of bed before he smooths over the covers. It’s a little quirky actually, but I love him all the more for it.
The girls still spend most of their time playing together. They do not exactly exclude their brother Alistair, but being twins they simply seem to have a stronger connection with each other. Currently their favorite play theme is Kirkwall. I think their puppet Qunari have tried to raid the city and been defeated at least six times.
Since they girls mostly amuse themselves I have lots of time to play with my only son. He loves when I pretend to be a Hurlock and attack him. As long as he doesn’t giggle when he becomes a Grey Warden and meets real Darkspawn I’m ok with that.
Pregnancy soon made itself known through morning sickness. I have borne enough children to know the signs.
Alistair is almost as exited for the baby as I am. Whenever he gets a turn at our dollhouse he pretends that the dolls are his brothers and plays with them. He even dressed one up as a Grey Warden with some help from me.
My journal so far might have given the impression that I have neglected my duties and have stopped writing down my knowledge about the Darkspawn and the happenings in Thedas. But I can completely reassure everyone to read this that I am still at work.
Lately I have focused on writing down my knowledge on intelligent Darkspawn like Corypheus and even added some drawings.
I only wish I was as good as Andre. While my depictions of Darkspawn are hardly more that scribbles my husband has really gotten good at painting. I would ask him to contribute to my notes, but since he has never actually seen Darkspawn he can’t really help.
The next time a travelling merchant from Orlais passes through Dragon Valley I will sell him our sink. This thing is better at predicting a pregnancy than all the old, shifty ladies that pretend they can see the future. It should net us a nice couple Sovereigns and maybe then we can finally get a more stable plumbing installed.
The Maker was gracious enough to grant us our wish for another boy, whom we named Anders. I have had a few doubts about the name, considering what his namesake did, but I promised that I would name my children after the important people of our time and so be it.
Now that little Anders was born I think that our family is complete. I was tasked with making sure that the Grey Wardens will endure and now that I have 5 children as potential recruits for the Order when they grow up, I am finally confident that I will not fail.
tbc…
The Grey Warden Legacy 